“I don’t really have disappointment, because I build myself up for rejection”
- Nicholas Hoult
Unfortunately, the above quote is not true of me. While I know little of Nicholas Hoult, the quote stuck with me.
I have entered many writing competitions so far for short stories, screenplays and poetry. 99% of the time I hear nothing back. The first few months of hearing nothing did not hurt. Everything that I apply for feels like a shot in the dark anyway, so if I don’t get feedback I don’t miss it – I’ve never had the feedback to miss…but I have received my first concrete rejection.
So far it’s been like jogging. You pound forward at first, confident in your fitness and attacking the miles in front of you. You become short of breath and feel the sweat dampen your shirt yet you still drive onwards…but then you feel the first few throbbing pains in your legs. You wonder whether or not you should slow down, whether to stop and rest and you question your ability to run the distance.
My first rejection felt like lactic acid.
The story was a 300-word piece to enter into a competition. I’d been constantly reading and writing and had decided that this piece would be my first publish. The language would be exquisite and the style unique. I would let the audience create the story in their own minds, hinting at the events, suggesting the setting and implying the period.
The shadows have disappeared and my fire glows brightly now, laying a mist upon the woods, the woods watching and weeping, my body creaking as I lift myself to my feet, immerse my face in the smoke and feel its fingers upon my lungs. I watch her rustle the leaves while he lies sleeping amongst them, red and brown
Unfortunately, the story was crap.
I was focused upon creating something unique and well written. I had forgotten that a short story actually had to have a story, summed up perfectly by my critic:
“There are many intense layers of feeling here but the expression of that intensity has obscured the essentials of the story”
It was their closing line which hurt the most…
“Its an ambitious piece. Good luck with it”
This is the first real critique of my work that has come from a professional. The friends and family that I have given my work to review have stated their opinion, but its either been light footed so as not to hurt my feelings, or I haven’t listened properly. It truly hurts.
Fledgling writers are all warned about rejection. We must have a tough armour and take criticism on the chin. Its part of the experience. No amount of warning however can prepare you for it. After working hard and investing that much time into writing, to then be told be told your ‘finest’ work is not very good dreadful…but necessary.
Now its important to consider what happens from here. If I’m honest I’m happy to have had a bit of a slagging. I have decided to use the criticism to my advantage and to identify my shortcomings and where I have been going wrong. Its possible to become to over confident before you’ve earned the right to be. The biggest failings in this instance were:
- Assuming my work would be enjoyed
- Believing I was the finished article
- Running (or jogging) before I could walk
Those are 3 things I will try not to do again, therefore I am now a better writer. Now I have learned that criticism is yet another training exercise. Now I have a pain threshold and when the wall appears in my path I will have a better chance of breaking through it.
How do you deal with rejection? Positively? Does the injustice and anger spur you on? Do you ask questions of yourself that you have not considered before?
“It’s not personal Sonny. It’s strictly Business”
- Michael Corleone
I Want To Be A Writer 